NON VIOLENT RESISTANCE
NVR stands for Non Violent Resistance and is a newly developed approach that is used to respond to aggressive, violent, self-destructive and controlling behaviours. Modifications of this model have successfully been used with young people with anxiety, addiction to the internet, substance misuse, risk of child sexual exploitation, self -harm, refusal of school attendance and many other problem areas.
In Non Violent Resistance, parents or caregivers learn to raise their parental presence, avoid the unhelpful and painful battles of the past, acquire a position of strength and not give in to unreasonable demands of the young person.
NVR is not about changing the behavior of the child but changing the behavior of the adult responding to it. There are four areas in which parents – with support – become active:
Parents will develop tools to manage risk without getting into escalatory conversations or power struggles. Removing themselves from these conversations allows the parent to not act in the heat of the moment, but instead take time to reflect and challenge the behavior once calmer.
TAKING BACK PARENTAL FREEDOM
Parents and carers of young people with challenging behavior may have a tendency to avoid taking action because of fear or shame. With support, they are able to resist the ‘rules’ set by the young person, regain parental presence and take back the freedom to act as adults and parents.
TAKING NON-VIOLENT POSITIVE ACTION
Parents or carers raise their presence in and out of the home by carefully planning delayed action. Punishment in response to consequence no longer works and results in escalatory behavior patterns.
These are small, unconditional gestures of love that give the supporter, parent or carer the chance to do something nice for the young person. This allows an opportunity for you all to show affection and care and focus on the child’s needs.